Since my last blog...I have left Marion Military Institute and am pregnant. Leaving MMI was a good choice for me because I missed home and I missed my freedom to express myself. As far as being pregnant, I am now 36 weeks 5 days!! If you guessed that I am ready to have this baby than you are CORRECT!!! I am trying to be patient though because the longer my little girl stays in my womb the more it will benefit her. Before I got pregnant I thought a lot of women who were dubbed "the crazy baby mama" were just that crazy. Now I have realized that they aren't crazy, but having a baby with someone brings on a lot of emotions. It's hard to be mad at the person who got you pregnant (that person being someone who you like) and not feel anything towards them at all. Hellooooo there is a small person growing inside of you that is half of them and half of you put together. The father of my child is probably the only guy I have loved and actually care a lot about, but we fight a lot. I got to admit that most of the fights we have are started by me and are only because I just want him to realize that the way I feel for him is genuine before it's too late because I might be having a child with him, but my heart won't be open to him forever. I have to put my little girl before my feelings and I have had to make a lot of decisions I didn't want to make, but I had to do it for her. Everyone knows I love that man, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have altered my life for him, but he hasn't put forth any effort to alter his for me.
signing off,
GiGi
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